What is a Nora? The exact Origins of this name is unclear, some say its a derivative of the word honor, or Honora. But the popular belief is that it comes from the Hebraic/Arabic word Noour or "Light", correctly translated it means Bright Light. Some Scholars say that Nora also means "the enlightened one", "the Beautiful one" and also "the wise one". In high society most women are named Nora, because the name entitles Nobility, Beauty, Light, Grace and Wit (Urban dictionary).
Whenever I want to remind myself what a REAL man is or what it takes to be a true family man, I crank up my blue ray player and pop in one of my favorite Movies....Cinderella Man. Its a film that depicts how important it is for an extraordinary man to have an extraordinary woman behind him... and viceversa. I've included a clip that depicts the most humbling moment of the film. It shows the embarrassment that this champion boxer was willing to go through in order to provide for his family during The Great Depression.
Below you will see a list that showcases many qualities that a man, such as the protagonist in the film clip above, might appreciate in his other half. It includes qualities that I think a Nora Woman would possess. For my own therapeutic reasons I've personalized the list, so not all qualities will be universally desirable. I'm basically putting a secular twist to the concept of the "Proverbs 31" Woman.
So for my female readers I ask, what kind of man would it take in order to motivate you to personify what is listed below? And for the Men, in what ways should we conduct ourselves in order to attract, reunite with, or gently mold whom we are currently with into a Nora Woman.
My Nora Woman looks like:
1. A music lover (isn't annoyed by hiphop or RnB) and enjoys dancing (including salsa).
2. Not dependent on weed, other drugs, or alcohol. Not necessarily through with the party scene though.
3. Adventurous. Enjoys exercising. Healthy and fit body. Has no mood disorders, but if so, is able to keep them under control with meds and/or other techniques.
4. Family oriented and supportive of her man's career goals/hobbies.
5. Able to articulate her own personal belief-system.
6. Imperfect
7. Doesn't speak slander against her man and backs him up no matter what, within reason.
8. Does not raise here hand against her man.
9. Speaks respectfully to her man. No rude passive aggressive side-comments that are demeaning. She is polite overall both in public and behind closed doors. Not spiteful, vengeful, or malicious.
10. Does not try to over-talk or out-talk her man while he is talking. Respectful overall.
11. Excellent hospitality. Example: when at dinner table if anyone's glasses are empty she fills them. If there is one piece of pie left she asks her Man then kids if they want it before eating it. When there is company she takes their coats and offers them something to drink.
12. Does not get a spiteful, vengeful or spoiled-like attitude when the answer is no.
13. Slow to become angry but when she does, she expresses anger and frustration appropriately.
14. Holds decent, intelligent, respectable conversation.
15. Follows a man's lead or is willing to learn to do so. (what kind of Man does this take?)
16. Appreciates and tries to understand the struggle of the Black American Man living in a society that is generally opposed to his success.
17. Has a high sex drive and is willing to learn new things or re-learn things... all without being offended.
18. Considers sex to be a reverent act. Enjoys cuddling. Affectionate overall.
19. Holds faithfulness in high regard.
20. Holds honesty in high regard. Doesn't hide or "fail to mention" anything to her man.
21. Considers her word as bond and can therefore be easily trusted.
22. A woman who is willing to live by the same rules she expects her man to live by. In other words, she would agree with the following quote: "Do unto your man as you would have him do unto you."
23. Believes in "innocent until proven guilty."
25. Helps her man be the best he can be.
26. Wants a bunch of kids, esp boys. Not opposed to adoption.
27. Sees motherhood as a God given gift and responsibility as opposed to a chore or distraction from her personal goals.
28. Tries hard to get to know her Man's family.
29. A woman who places her man and kids before her career and education aspirations. She would rather take her family with her on business trips or company events then leave them behind, and makes a determined effort to do so. (I can see how this can turn-off my alpha-female type readers and those who've been screwed over by doing this before. But don't worry, I understand. Just try to keep reading....)
30. Regards government assistance (to include child support and alimony) as a temporary necessity.
31. Maintains good hygiene. Well-groomed. And practices cleanliness.
32. Has good manners. Teaches good manners to her kids if she has kids.
33. Has healthy exercise habits. Is in good shape.
34. Knows how to carry herself...posture herself. She can make her presence known when she walk in a room.
35. Fiscally responsible and financially savvy.
36. Understands etiquette of different cultures and environments or desires to learn.
37. Is culturally aware and slow to speak ill of any race, gender, age, religion or ideal.
38. Has skills in the kitchen. She can cook for her family and not just when it's convenient, and not microwave food. I mean cook from scratch or is willing to learn.
39. Would never let her children or man go hungry.
40. Able to control her wondering eyes. And doesn't intentionally flirt with other men in front of her man, or behind his back. (what kind of Man does this take?)
41. Inevitably desires a long term monogamous marriage relationship and is willing to protect that union with her life. And if the monogamous part were ever to change, it would be a mutual decision to experiment responsibly.
42. Talks to her man about problems before doing so with some other dude or her girlfriends, giving him the opportunity to perform his duty of comforting his woman.
43. A woman who, if she has kids, let's the man she is with assume the primary father role. That is, if the kids live with her.
44. Believes in disciplining children. Spanking included but not primary.
45. If she has kids, recognizes and stops any activity with the father(s) or the father's family that could jeopardize the relationship without hesitation.
46. Tries to be the best she can be, especially behind closed doors. Her demeanor is uplifting and her passion for treating people right is implicated by her reputation.
(Update: Soooo....this blog hasn't made me the most popular guy in my circles. Is this why most writers are single? Don't worry the guy version "PRINCE CHARMING" is nearly done!)
